An Inspiring Weekend

I am sorry I have not been around. I could spill out a million excuses, but the truth is I gave up on myself for a while... but now I'm back and I want to share with you why.

So I've been working for a PR firm here in Columbus, and one of their biggest events is the Columbus Marathon which was this past weekend. The week leading up to it we were both (her PR firm is herself, and now me) working extra hours, cramming in all that last minute stuff. It meant less cooking, more take out, no exercise, and little sleep. In all a bad combination. But then... it was race day.

My day started at 5 am, setting up the press room with coffee and bagels. Then it was off to the start line where my job was to babysit Ronald McDonald. Yes, as in a man dressed up as the character walking around to pump people up, take pictures and then get him back to the stage in time for the race countdown. Then I got to go up on stage and watch all these amazing athletes run off. It was crazy to see 15,000 people of all athletic abilities to run off into the sunrise with hopes of finishing a half or full marathon. Some with hopes of qualifying for Boston, others with hopes of just finishing period (like my Sister in Law who did amazing in the half by the way!).

At 8 am the racers were on the course and I had to head up to mile 22.5 (out of 26.2 for the full marathon)to take pictures for the facebook & twitter pages. It was a neighborhood area that was quiet when I got there, but soon started to fill up... and this is where I was truly inspired.

First seeing the handcyclists. These are people who may have lost the ability to walk, some in prostetics, but still determined to keep active and come whizzing around the corner! Wow. That's just great.

Then comes the serious athletes, those who are running 26.2 miles in under 3 hours... a feat I really can't relate to. See for me running never really appealed to me, and not just because I'm out of shape, but because I am a social person and like to talk to people... which if you are a serious runner you can't REALLY do.

But then it was the 4 hour group (about a 9 minute mile) which were people who won't qualify for Boston, they are just running to beat their own record, qualify for their own reasons. These are the people I can relate to. They are not overly trained athletes, they are those who just want to accomplish a goal.

I saw two women holding hands as one of them was clearly ready to give up, and her friend was going to make sure that didn't happen. That was touching. There were those wearing shirts stating "My FIRST Marathon" and I wonder if they were always in shape. Were they once like me and worked their way into shape and then decided the ultimate challenge was a marathon?

There were also the "fans"... kids with signs saying "GO MOMMY" and friends cheering on their loved ones... and some people, complete strangers... but knew that the encouraging words could make the difference between finishing and giving up. I made sure I was always clapping and cheering!

I think my favorite moment came when my friend Anietra, who had been training for a few months for this marathon came running down, after snapping a picture I yelled her name to cheer her on. She came over and gave me a very sweaty hug and told me she didn't know if she could finish. I knew she could, I just knew she needed the motivation. I knew I couldn't let her stop... so I offered to run 2 1/2 blocks with her to where the course turned. I know it's not much, but sadly I was out of breath with just that. When we got to the turn she continued on and finished. I'm not sure if those few blocks made a difference, but I was so excited to see her finish.

At the end of the day I came home and crashed HARD on the couch. But when I downloaded my pictures and saw them all together I knew I had to do something. If these people can fight through pain and sweat and know that at the end they are going to reach their goal... so can I.

Labor Day Weekend aka I'm Really Sore!

This weekend was crazy for me. On Saturday I went to my college roommate's wedding reception (she got married in Alaska, but then celebrated with family back in Ohio).  I make sure I ate something healthy before I left, just so I wouldn't be starving and eat all sorts of delicious yet fattening appetizers.  When it was time to eat I was good, skipping dips, deep fried foods, and completely bypassing the desert table (a BIG step for me).  I did treat myself to a cupcake, which I accounted for before I even went up there!  It was great... and I wasn't hungry at all.  Then I danced... danced my HEART out for a good hour and a half, only stopping twice!  And downing 2 bottles of water!  It was soooo much fun since after all that's what the bride and I did back in college!

So the next morning I was sore, but it was time for our big family reunion!  After a light and healthy breakfast we headed over.  I knew that it was a potluck, but I came prepared, making a light and delicious tomato & cucumber salad!  But there were lots of fruits and veggies there so I loaded up on those for lunch and dinner (it's an all day event).  I did allow myself a tasting of my aunt's delicious potato salad, and a sliver of my mom's homemade and better then you would ever find in any restaurant pies (yeah she made 5 delicious pies... but I just took bites of my 2 favorites!)

But it's not just the food... we also play beanbag tournaments (like cornhole).  And when my 85 year old grandma needed to stop I volunteered to step in!  After all, I was out in the first round and was just sitting!  Then of course we played softball.  Now usually I half-ass it... picking to play outfield and just slowly jogging to bases.  But I decided this year... why not go for it!  I took 3rd base knowing it would force me to do more action and I almost caught the ball twice!  Surprising myself both times that I even went after it at all!  Then when my team was up to bat I volunteered to be catcher (we have a small family so you have to catch for your own team) I did this so I would once again NOT sit on the bench and take a break, I wanted to stay moving the whole game!  Oh, and did I mention my three awesome hits!  Now I did not make it to base... but I did have an RBI, and I sprinted as fast as I could, making sure to give it my all!!! 

It was a great weekend, but today I am SOOO sore!  It took me all day to find the motivation to do my strength training exercises!  But I did them, even in front of my boyfriend who said I do not look sexy doing them, much to my surprise!  haha!  I may not be able to get out of bed tomorrow morning, but that's what alieve is for right?  Hope everyone else had a great weekend! 

Starting From Scratch

6 years ago I graduated from Ohio State with big dreams of being a big time producer. I got a job (after a few months) in television working as a producer... 5 years later I had gained a lot of weight. It doesn't help that you sit for 10 hours a day... and that I ate a lot of fast food, never exercised, and worked overnights. Needless to say, it wasn't the best thing for staying in shape. But... sadly it didn't really matter. See, since you are not a face for the station, you can be fat, wear jeans and sweatshirts to work... and I got lazy when it came to my work. But that is all in the past.

After I was laid off I took some real stock in what was going on in my work life. And I decided I really didn't want to be working crazy overnight hours for little pay 10 years from now (and yes, people in tv who are not anchors DO NOT make a lot of money). So, I decided to start a new career on the other side of tv... in public relations. I THOUGHT it would be an easy transition... after all I was the person who public relations companies tried to schmooze so we would cover their stories... but alas, nothing.

I finally broke down and contacted a friend/contact of mine who owns her own small PR firm... and she offered me a position as an intern. It's unpaid, but the experience is worth millions! Heck, my future career pretty much depends on this 3 -4 month stint as a PR intern.

But here's the thing... in PR... looks matter. I will be representing the companies that hire us to promote their event. And so it has become even more important to kick this goal of being fit into gear! Also... I need to actually do my hair and makeup in the morning! I'm excited... this is something I need to do both for my career and also as a goal for weight loss. So... wish me luck in my new endeavor!!!

Realizations

When I started this whole weight loss journey, I told myself I would be completely honest with myself... something I haven't done in a REALLY long time (at least not about my weight).  I was never really honest with just how out of shape I had become.  So here are some things I used to do... can no longer do... but want to be able to (at least physically) do again:

Tennis: I played tennis for 4 years in high school... I was never great, but I could get through a whole match... and my senior year when I was named captain of the team, there were times when I would play a varsity match, then turn around and play a JV match to make sure everyone got to play.  I think today I would be lucky to survive one GAME (a match can be up to 30 games easy).

Marching: Ok, I don't really want to get back on the football field and march... but I was good in marching band... I was energetic and could do all the parades and games with no problem.  Aside from not remembering how to play the fight song anymore... I also can't imagine marching a 5 mile parade route either!

Crunches: Before my junior prom... wow I had the most amazing dress.  It was an empire waist, but fitted until the waist, and had an open back.  At the time I wanted so much to look good in it, and to make sure I did I used to do crunches every afternoon after school... by the time prom came around I was doing 600 a day easy.  And it's funny because at the time I didn't think that I looked as amazing in that dress as I wanted to... but man, would I give ANYTHING to be able to wear that dress again!

Overall 10 years ago, I wasn't happy with myself... I was happy with my accomplishments, but not with me.  Today, I am happy with myself, I have more confidence now then I ever did... but also have a lot more weight too.  So, I'm looking forward to seeing if I really can get back to where I was, and this time... be happy with it... happy with me!

Love of Food + Diet = ??????

So with being on a diet for the first time in years, I am realizing just how much I ate... seriously tipping 2,000 calories a day was not unusual. And the thing is, I love food... really really really love food.

It's not just eating it, not just fatty foods, etc.... but everything about it. I love to cook, I love trying new recipes and even more... I love baking. Whenever I'm stressed, or depressed, or nervous I can bake. There's something about measuring and timing a pan of brownies, icing a cake, or making cookies that just relaxes me and puts everything right in the world.

I also enjoy eating... ok, clearly everyone on here loves eating or they wouldn't be needing to find a healthier lifestyle. But it brings so much joy in little bites. You can remember home by making something my mom made... or at a restaurant you can experience a new culture, or new technique you yourself could never do. And there's more to eating then just intaking food. I love going to restaurants with friends, birthday parties with family, picnics... everything.

Now, I realize I don't have to give it all up... but this first week... it's rough and it's hard to imagine going to a BBQ and being able to not eat a little of this and a lot of that adding up to double what I should be eating. But it is possible... right??? It's possible to live a full life, eat stuff you love (yes in smaller portions), and still be a sexy, thin woman?? I sure hope so... and right now, hope is the only thing I do want to over indulge in!

A New Button to Press

This week I realized something... there is more to restarting my life then just a new job and new city (which if you are keeping track, neither has happened!).  While look at some old pictures I realized... WOW I have gained A LOT of weight.  Now, I wasn't going to say anything... I am a firm believer that when you tell people you are on a diet they will tell you "you look great" or "have you lost weight" regardless on if they actually feel that way.... they are just saying that to be nice.  So, I tend not to tell people when I'm trying... and felt I would do the same here.  But... nearing a point I never in a million years thought I would reach... it's time to do something.  Seriously, look at this picture... the one on the left is from 2004, shortly after my college my old roomie got married... this was at her wedding.  The one on the right... last month... yeah... 6 years and about 60 pounds.  That's not right.

So why am I sharing my embarrassing pictures with the world wide web?  Because... I am also using it as a way to keep up motivation.  I need to walk more and eat less... drink more water and spend some time not in front of the computer... and I will need people to not tell me I look great, but to tell me that it's good I'm getting out there, etc.

Now, it wasn't easy putting on this weight, and I know it will be less easy taking it off. 

I have never been "thin"  I have always been over weight, but never to the point that I was... well kinda grossed out by my body.  And the weight went on slowly, and I was NEVER short and excuse.  It was a combination of working long hours, working overnights, stopping at McDonalds once a week for dinner, eating everything off my plate, not exercising... then it got worse when I got in a relationship with an AMAZING guy who loves me no matter what... which is great... except when you stop worrying about not pigging out in front of him.   And I have confidence in myself, a lot more then I did in 2004.  It's weird that while I'm bigger, I feel better about ME, I no longer cry in the dressing room at the mall... but I also can only shop in ONE store.  Not good!!  I long for the days when I could shop anywhere, and have guys look at me... and no in that "should she be eating that" kind of way.

So here is what I am asking from you... to hold me accountable, to support and love me... but to not let me eat 3 slices of pizza and ice cream in front of you!  I'm going to start with little things, but I'm hoping I can ask for a whole new wardrobe for Christmas... or at least smaller jeans.

The "What If's"

I like to think of myself as someone who can go with the flow, someone who doesn't let the little things bother her... and I think I'm pretty good at appearing that way... but the truth... yeah the truth is the complete opposite.  See, I am a "what if" person... I like to have a strategy for every possible scenario.  This way, when something happens I already know my plan... and therefore, seem calm.  I plan everything, from what if I get a job in Seattle, but haven't sold my house... what if I sell the house and it takes a while to find a job... what if I get a job here in Columbus, like it, but then sell the house... you can see how this can become overwhelming.  I even do the "what if" to smaller things, example: what if we go to the outdoor concert and it rains... what if we buy tickets to something and then can't go... etc. 

Usually I can keep the outward feelings at bay... I can keep from having panic attacks and keep from having sleepless nights and heartburn.  But then something, a trigger that makes the "what if's" take over.  This morning my dryer died... in the past it was a belt that slipped, something easy that with a sweet and genuine "please and thank you" my dad would fix for less than $20.  But not this time... and this was not something I had planned for... not something that had even factored into my mind as something that could happen.  And now it's just all crazy in my head.  Should I fix it?  Can I afford to fix it?  Should I just get rid of it and turn the utility room into a bedroom?  Would that make it sell faster?  Would that make it more desirable?  I don't know.  The problem is, most of these questions don't have an answer... which makes it even worse for me.  I need to just make a decision... something that doesn't come easy to me.... and hope that it all works out.  So wish me luck... as I try to find a way to make all the "what if's" in my head happy.