An Inspiring Weekend

I am sorry I have not been around. I could spill out a million excuses, but the truth is I gave up on myself for a while... but now I'm back and I want to share with you why.

So I've been working for a PR firm here in Columbus, and one of their biggest events is the Columbus Marathon which was this past weekend. The week leading up to it we were both (her PR firm is herself, and now me) working extra hours, cramming in all that last minute stuff. It meant less cooking, more take out, no exercise, and little sleep. In all a bad combination. But then... it was race day.

My day started at 5 am, setting up the press room with coffee and bagels. Then it was off to the start line where my job was to babysit Ronald McDonald. Yes, as in a man dressed up as the character walking around to pump people up, take pictures and then get him back to the stage in time for the race countdown. Then I got to go up on stage and watch all these amazing athletes run off. It was crazy to see 15,000 people of all athletic abilities to run off into the sunrise with hopes of finishing a half or full marathon. Some with hopes of qualifying for Boston, others with hopes of just finishing period (like my Sister in Law who did amazing in the half by the way!).

At 8 am the racers were on the course and I had to head up to mile 22.5 (out of 26.2 for the full marathon)to take pictures for the facebook & twitter pages. It was a neighborhood area that was quiet when I got there, but soon started to fill up... and this is where I was truly inspired.

First seeing the handcyclists. These are people who may have lost the ability to walk, some in prostetics, but still determined to keep active and come whizzing around the corner! Wow. That's just great.

Then comes the serious athletes, those who are running 26.2 miles in under 3 hours... a feat I really can't relate to. See for me running never really appealed to me, and not just because I'm out of shape, but because I am a social person and like to talk to people... which if you are a serious runner you can't REALLY do.

But then it was the 4 hour group (about a 9 minute mile) which were people who won't qualify for Boston, they are just running to beat their own record, qualify for their own reasons. These are the people I can relate to. They are not overly trained athletes, they are those who just want to accomplish a goal.

I saw two women holding hands as one of them was clearly ready to give up, and her friend was going to make sure that didn't happen. That was touching. There were those wearing shirts stating "My FIRST Marathon" and I wonder if they were always in shape. Were they once like me and worked their way into shape and then decided the ultimate challenge was a marathon?

There were also the "fans"... kids with signs saying "GO MOMMY" and friends cheering on their loved ones... and some people, complete strangers... but knew that the encouraging words could make the difference between finishing and giving up. I made sure I was always clapping and cheering!

I think my favorite moment came when my friend Anietra, who had been training for a few months for this marathon came running down, after snapping a picture I yelled her name to cheer her on. She came over and gave me a very sweaty hug and told me she didn't know if she could finish. I knew she could, I just knew she needed the motivation. I knew I couldn't let her stop... so I offered to run 2 1/2 blocks with her to where the course turned. I know it's not much, but sadly I was out of breath with just that. When we got to the turn she continued on and finished. I'm not sure if those few blocks made a difference, but I was so excited to see her finish.

At the end of the day I came home and crashed HARD on the couch. But when I downloaded my pictures and saw them all together I knew I had to do something. If these people can fight through pain and sweat and know that at the end they are going to reach their goal... so can I.

Labor Day Weekend aka I'm Really Sore!

This weekend was crazy for me. On Saturday I went to my college roommate's wedding reception (she got married in Alaska, but then celebrated with family back in Ohio).  I make sure I ate something healthy before I left, just so I wouldn't be starving and eat all sorts of delicious yet fattening appetizers.  When it was time to eat I was good, skipping dips, deep fried foods, and completely bypassing the desert table (a BIG step for me).  I did treat myself to a cupcake, which I accounted for before I even went up there!  It was great... and I wasn't hungry at all.  Then I danced... danced my HEART out for a good hour and a half, only stopping twice!  And downing 2 bottles of water!  It was soooo much fun since after all that's what the bride and I did back in college!

So the next morning I was sore, but it was time for our big family reunion!  After a light and healthy breakfast we headed over.  I knew that it was a potluck, but I came prepared, making a light and delicious tomato & cucumber salad!  But there were lots of fruits and veggies there so I loaded up on those for lunch and dinner (it's an all day event).  I did allow myself a tasting of my aunt's delicious potato salad, and a sliver of my mom's homemade and better then you would ever find in any restaurant pies (yeah she made 5 delicious pies... but I just took bites of my 2 favorites!)

But it's not just the food... we also play beanbag tournaments (like cornhole).  And when my 85 year old grandma needed to stop I volunteered to step in!  After all, I was out in the first round and was just sitting!  Then of course we played softball.  Now usually I half-ass it... picking to play outfield and just slowly jogging to bases.  But I decided this year... why not go for it!  I took 3rd base knowing it would force me to do more action and I almost caught the ball twice!  Surprising myself both times that I even went after it at all!  Then when my team was up to bat I volunteered to be catcher (we have a small family so you have to catch for your own team) I did this so I would once again NOT sit on the bench and take a break, I wanted to stay moving the whole game!  Oh, and did I mention my three awesome hits!  Now I did not make it to base... but I did have an RBI, and I sprinted as fast as I could, making sure to give it my all!!! 

It was a great weekend, but today I am SOOO sore!  It took me all day to find the motivation to do my strength training exercises!  But I did them, even in front of my boyfriend who said I do not look sexy doing them, much to my surprise!  haha!  I may not be able to get out of bed tomorrow morning, but that's what alieve is for right?  Hope everyone else had a great weekend! 

Starting From Scratch

6 years ago I graduated from Ohio State with big dreams of being a big time producer. I got a job (after a few months) in television working as a producer... 5 years later I had gained a lot of weight. It doesn't help that you sit for 10 hours a day... and that I ate a lot of fast food, never exercised, and worked overnights. Needless to say, it wasn't the best thing for staying in shape. But... sadly it didn't really matter. See, since you are not a face for the station, you can be fat, wear jeans and sweatshirts to work... and I got lazy when it came to my work. But that is all in the past.

After I was laid off I took some real stock in what was going on in my work life. And I decided I really didn't want to be working crazy overnight hours for little pay 10 years from now (and yes, people in tv who are not anchors DO NOT make a lot of money). So, I decided to start a new career on the other side of tv... in public relations. I THOUGHT it would be an easy transition... after all I was the person who public relations companies tried to schmooze so we would cover their stories... but alas, nothing.

I finally broke down and contacted a friend/contact of mine who owns her own small PR firm... and she offered me a position as an intern. It's unpaid, but the experience is worth millions! Heck, my future career pretty much depends on this 3 -4 month stint as a PR intern.

But here's the thing... in PR... looks matter. I will be representing the companies that hire us to promote their event. And so it has become even more important to kick this goal of being fit into gear! Also... I need to actually do my hair and makeup in the morning! I'm excited... this is something I need to do both for my career and also as a goal for weight loss. So... wish me luck in my new endeavor!!!

Realizations

When I started this whole weight loss journey, I told myself I would be completely honest with myself... something I haven't done in a REALLY long time (at least not about my weight).  I was never really honest with just how out of shape I had become.  So here are some things I used to do... can no longer do... but want to be able to (at least physically) do again:

Tennis: I played tennis for 4 years in high school... I was never great, but I could get through a whole match... and my senior year when I was named captain of the team, there were times when I would play a varsity match, then turn around and play a JV match to make sure everyone got to play.  I think today I would be lucky to survive one GAME (a match can be up to 30 games easy).

Marching: Ok, I don't really want to get back on the football field and march... but I was good in marching band... I was energetic and could do all the parades and games with no problem.  Aside from not remembering how to play the fight song anymore... I also can't imagine marching a 5 mile parade route either!

Crunches: Before my junior prom... wow I had the most amazing dress.  It was an empire waist, but fitted until the waist, and had an open back.  At the time I wanted so much to look good in it, and to make sure I did I used to do crunches every afternoon after school... by the time prom came around I was doing 600 a day easy.  And it's funny because at the time I didn't think that I looked as amazing in that dress as I wanted to... but man, would I give ANYTHING to be able to wear that dress again!

Overall 10 years ago, I wasn't happy with myself... I was happy with my accomplishments, but not with me.  Today, I am happy with myself, I have more confidence now then I ever did... but also have a lot more weight too.  So, I'm looking forward to seeing if I really can get back to where I was, and this time... be happy with it... happy with me!

Love of Food + Diet = ??????

So with being on a diet for the first time in years, I am realizing just how much I ate... seriously tipping 2,000 calories a day was not unusual. And the thing is, I love food... really really really love food.

It's not just eating it, not just fatty foods, etc.... but everything about it. I love to cook, I love trying new recipes and even more... I love baking. Whenever I'm stressed, or depressed, or nervous I can bake. There's something about measuring and timing a pan of brownies, icing a cake, or making cookies that just relaxes me and puts everything right in the world.

I also enjoy eating... ok, clearly everyone on here loves eating or they wouldn't be needing to find a healthier lifestyle. But it brings so much joy in little bites. You can remember home by making something my mom made... or at a restaurant you can experience a new culture, or new technique you yourself could never do. And there's more to eating then just intaking food. I love going to restaurants with friends, birthday parties with family, picnics... everything.

Now, I realize I don't have to give it all up... but this first week... it's rough and it's hard to imagine going to a BBQ and being able to not eat a little of this and a lot of that adding up to double what I should be eating. But it is possible... right??? It's possible to live a full life, eat stuff you love (yes in smaller portions), and still be a sexy, thin woman?? I sure hope so... and right now, hope is the only thing I do want to over indulge in!

A New Button to Press

This week I realized something... there is more to restarting my life then just a new job and new city (which if you are keeping track, neither has happened!).  While look at some old pictures I realized... WOW I have gained A LOT of weight.  Now, I wasn't going to say anything... I am a firm believer that when you tell people you are on a diet they will tell you "you look great" or "have you lost weight" regardless on if they actually feel that way.... they are just saying that to be nice.  So, I tend not to tell people when I'm trying... and felt I would do the same here.  But... nearing a point I never in a million years thought I would reach... it's time to do something.  Seriously, look at this picture... the one on the left is from 2004, shortly after my college my old roomie got married... this was at her wedding.  The one on the right... last month... yeah... 6 years and about 60 pounds.  That's not right.

So why am I sharing my embarrassing pictures with the world wide web?  Because... I am also using it as a way to keep up motivation.  I need to walk more and eat less... drink more water and spend some time not in front of the computer... and I will need people to not tell me I look great, but to tell me that it's good I'm getting out there, etc.

Now, it wasn't easy putting on this weight, and I know it will be less easy taking it off. 

I have never been "thin"  I have always been over weight, but never to the point that I was... well kinda grossed out by my body.  And the weight went on slowly, and I was NEVER short and excuse.  It was a combination of working long hours, working overnights, stopping at McDonalds once a week for dinner, eating everything off my plate, not exercising... then it got worse when I got in a relationship with an AMAZING guy who loves me no matter what... which is great... except when you stop worrying about not pigging out in front of him.   And I have confidence in myself, a lot more then I did in 2004.  It's weird that while I'm bigger, I feel better about ME, I no longer cry in the dressing room at the mall... but I also can only shop in ONE store.  Not good!!  I long for the days when I could shop anywhere, and have guys look at me... and no in that "should she be eating that" kind of way.

So here is what I am asking from you... to hold me accountable, to support and love me... but to not let me eat 3 slices of pizza and ice cream in front of you!  I'm going to start with little things, but I'm hoping I can ask for a whole new wardrobe for Christmas... or at least smaller jeans.

The "What If's"

I like to think of myself as someone who can go with the flow, someone who doesn't let the little things bother her... and I think I'm pretty good at appearing that way... but the truth... yeah the truth is the complete opposite.  See, I am a "what if" person... I like to have a strategy for every possible scenario.  This way, when something happens I already know my plan... and therefore, seem calm.  I plan everything, from what if I get a job in Seattle, but haven't sold my house... what if I sell the house and it takes a while to find a job... what if I get a job here in Columbus, like it, but then sell the house... you can see how this can become overwhelming.  I even do the "what if" to smaller things, example: what if we go to the outdoor concert and it rains... what if we buy tickets to something and then can't go... etc. 

Usually I can keep the outward feelings at bay... I can keep from having panic attacks and keep from having sleepless nights and heartburn.  But then something, a trigger that makes the "what if's" take over.  This morning my dryer died... in the past it was a belt that slipped, something easy that with a sweet and genuine "please and thank you" my dad would fix for less than $20.  But not this time... and this was not something I had planned for... not something that had even factored into my mind as something that could happen.  And now it's just all crazy in my head.  Should I fix it?  Can I afford to fix it?  Should I just get rid of it and turn the utility room into a bedroom?  Would that make it sell faster?  Would that make it more desirable?  I don't know.  The problem is, most of these questions don't have an answer... which makes it even worse for me.  I need to just make a decision... something that doesn't come easy to me.... and hope that it all works out.  So wish me luck... as I try to find a way to make all the "what if's" in my head happy.

New Venture

I haven't written for a while because I've been busy learning to become a salesperson.  That's right... you are looking at the newest Avon representative.  To some selling Avon might be a "old lady job" but I disagree... I am hoping it's the next step in me finding a full time job. 

I chose Avon because... well I could use the cash... but also because many of the jobs I'm applying for are entitled "Marketing & Communications Manager"... I have the communications part down, but I didn't go to school for marketing, in fact I ran from it like the plague!  But with Avon... if you don't market yourself, you don't make any money.... end of story.

When I was younger the last thing I ever wanted to be was a salesperson of any sort... partly because I refused to be like my dad (I was rebellious)... but also because I didn't want to be the person who had to wear the suit everyday and... it's just not me, I'm not a "stiff" person.  The problem is... those who make money... wear suits.  So I'll get a little more used to the idea, but until then I also have to work on my skills.

See, I don't like just going up to people, trying to convince them to use moisturizer or change lipstick... so I guess we will see just how successful I can be!  But I can be honest with people, telling them I am selling... hope that sweet and innocent can also sell.  The thing is I know I need to be more aggressive, more confident in myself... and I'm hoping this new endeavor will do just that!

So Sore... BUT... It's Beautiful!!!

I'm pretty sure for the next 24 hours all I will be able to do is type... as I can not move my arms, and my legs feel like rubber.  Why may you ask am I so sore... it's flowerbeds.  The past 2 days I have gone into overdrive in getting the weeds gone, flowers in, and mulch on.

First, removing weeds... these are not your "normal" weeds... we are talking monster, I haven't tended to my weeds in 5 years, weeds.  These are the kind that require shovels, roundup and muscle.  So not all of them are terrible, in one bed a lot of it was just grass, which was easy to pull up... but most of it... took A LOT of energy.  The only part that's left is about a 2'x3' section, which I plan to tackle tomorrow evening.

Second, plant... including color.  Now I have 2 VERY black thumbs.  A plant it lucky to survive 3 months in my care... so needless to say the only plants that are still in the flowerbeds are the kind it takes a stampede of elephants to kill.  But this is where my parents come to the rescue.  Not only are they AMAZING landscapers, they are amazing enough to dig up some flowers and lug them down to my house.  I did stop at Lowe's to get a few shade plants (a lot of their yard is sun)  But still... they saved me a ton, which is very helpful when you are on a limited budget.

Last... Mulch.  This was the part I was dreading... not for work, but for the pocket book.  I will admit, the thought crossed my mind to just start pulling handfuls of mulch from restaurants and apartment buildings landscape and put them in my purse until I had enough to cover the whole area... but I could be stealing handfuls until NEXT July.  This year... I scored the deal of a lifetime!  Given I am later than a lot of garden enthusiasts.... I decided to call around (with the advice of my wonderful boyfriend).  Now, I called Giant Eagle and they told me 74 cents... I thought... YEAH RIGHT!  But I decided to give it a go... and sure enough... less than a dollar a bag.  So I got more than I thought (with a second run to the store that is...my trunk does not hold that much) and now I'm right on track to put the house back on the market... looking better than ever!!!!  Seriously... take a look!

It's Times Like These....

There are times in your life when you are going through your own struggle... but then something happens and you realize that God must be busy with other people... and it's for the best.  So yes, I have been praying that I sell my house, find a job, etc. etc.  But recently my prayers have changed direction... to others, who need them a lot more than me.

A dear family friend is about to have surgery.  Growing up they were like another Aunt and Uncle, and were people I was always happy to see.  But this week, a prayer request came out, asking to keep him in mind as he undergoes a serious surgery... and my heart breaks a little... it makes me feel a bit selfish for wanting my life to improve, when at least my small family (and extended family) is for the most part healthy.

Another family friend also recently went through A LOT.  Hospitalized for something... the doctors still can't diagnose, and my not until it's too late... and while the miracle of prayer did help him recover some what, he now is burying his father-in-law.

It really makes you think... I've always been a firm believer that God never gives you more than you can handle... and when I look at other situations, I think... maybe he knows I can't handle that much!  I mean, I would be a wreck if something happened to Shaun... heck even with my cat, Jack, was sick I was a nervous mom!  I know I may not be the most religious person in the world... or even in my family... but I do believe in prayers and miracles... and hope... HOPE that those who have been so good to my family for so many years will have the strength to get through these times... and maybe a little hope that when their lives get back to "normal" that God may have a second or two to help Shaun and I sell our home :)

Needing Inspiration

I'm sure a few of you have noticed that I haven't posted in a while... for this I blame my mom who told me I seem to never gets writers block... but here I am... with nothing to write about.  It's not that nothing is going on in my life... just nothing noteworthy.  I guess my life is just lacking inspiration.  I do have a small thing... a little going green action.  Today I was at a garage sale and we got a steal of a deal on some nice planters.  But, now I'm taking a crash course in gardening 101.  I have two black thumbs... which is weird since my parents both seem to be able to keep plants alive for years!  I guess thumb colors are genetic.  But at least I have them for advice... and hopefully I'll soon be able to have a lovely landscaped home that people want to pay more than asking price for!!!!

Off The Market.... For Now

Today I took my house off the market... the house isn't sold, but something had to happen. See, it's been 6 weeks since we had a showing, and no one seems interested. My realtor said we have had a few drive-bys, but they can't get past the weeds out front. So I decided to strategize. Here's my brilliant plan (with thanks from advice from my older brother):

We are taking the house off the market for 30 days. In that time I am going to ROCK the outside of the house by pulling all the weeds, adding some color... in essence do my own little "Curb Appeal" special (with a much smaller budget).  When I'm done... before day 30... we will take some new pictures off the amazing outside and relist the home... and since it's more than 30 days, it will be considered a new listing.

NOW... phase 2 of my plan... with the new listing it will sell in NO TIME, and Shaun and I will be on our way to continue our life in Seattle.... hopefully sooner than later.

Who knows if it will work.  Some buyers say it had worked for them, and I know the biggest thing holding people back is the landscaping, so let's go ahead and take that off the list.  My brother did give me some good advice.  He said to pull up to the house and take a look around... objectively (easier said then done I know).... then go up to the door that the key is at... stop and look around.  See, while the realtor is messing with the key, first time home buyers are going to be looking around... looking for reasons to buy or pass on your house.  Good advice.

Well, I gotta go pull the sign out of the front yard... and all the weeds.  Anyone want to help???

Happy Father's Day

Today I decided to share something I wrote earlier.  My dad, a hero to many, including me, has accomplished so much in his life, especially when you consider all he had to overcome.  This year I nominated him for the Ohio Veteran's Hall of Fame... which I'm still waiting to hear what they said... so below was what I wrote in hopes of getting him in the Hall:

          I feel very strongly that Nicholas should be accepted into the Ohio Veterans Hall of Fame.  Not only is he my father, but he is an exemplary example of a true blooded American and what a Veteran should represent.  Not only did he excel in the military by earning a Bronze and Silver Star, but he continues to educate the public about the good deeds done in the military through his advocacy with the Vietnam Veterans of America, participating in parades and even taking part in presentations at area schools.  

Nicholas is always available to tell others what his time in the military did for him; helped him realize his full potential, helped him get through college, and helped him create a life he is proud to share with his family. 

I have never met a Veteran more proud of his past, and more dedicated to those who fought alongside him.  He has visited the Vietnam Memorial more times than I can remember, each time taking moments to remember and honor those who had the same fight in them, but were not able to come home and live their dreams. 

I know this nomination packet only shows a small part of my father, but I hope it is enough to show the committee just how amazing of a soldier, husband, father, grandfather, and American Nicholas has become.

Has My House Always Been This Dirty?

Having more time on my hands means I'm noticing a lot more than I used to.  And while cleaning the bathroom today I thought to myself... has it always been this dirty?  I swear I feel like I'm cleaning more often then I ever did before.  I figure one or some of the following things factored into this:

1. I'm bored, therefore being more picky than normal on how dirty things are.
2. Since the house is on the market we have to keep it nicer than normal, therefore I feel the need to keep up with things more.
3. Since buying the house I have added a man, rabbit and a second cat... obviously making more of a mess... however our family has been complete for more than a year now, and I don't remember cleaning this much a year ago.
4. The house has always been really messy but with my work schedule I just didn't notice.  I know I'm not the only one to ever work overnights, or 50 hours a week.  I know other people do it, with kids, etc.... and maybe their houses are also messy.  But I thought maybe I was just too tired to notice the soap scum in the back corner of the shower, or the tiny pieces of litter that make their way down the hall.

So who knows what the reasoning is... I do know that I am enjoying a cleaner home.... but my least favorite chore is still cleaning the toilet!!!!!

Kittie 911!!!

So today I had to take my cat to the vet for an emergency... not exactly what I was planning to do today, or what I was planning on doing with money.

See 5 years ago, Jack (my beautiful tabby) had a UTI.... it was fixed and he has been healthy since... well at least physically.  He didn't like it much when he got a dad, brother rabbit, and a kid sitter cat... and decided that he was going to rebel by peeing on.... well everything.  Lately he has been fine, especially after we got rid of the sofa he was particularly fond of.  Then there was this past week... he decided to start peeing on a bedroom door.  I figured he was just mad about something... so I didn't think much of it.  Until this morning, when he peed a little blood :(.

So here I am, calling the vet getting an appointment.  It wasn't as expensive as it could have been, after all it was less than $100.  But still... that's 1/3 of what I make a week.  It's hard sometimes thinking about these emergency situations.  You don't want to think about it, and when you are on a tight budget you don't usually budget for them either.  I'm hoping he will be ok in a week... luckily my best friend is a vet (3 states away)... but still a great person to call when I have questions I'm too embarrassed to ask a complete stranger.  But until he's all better... please send good thoughts to my baby Jack....

207 Threads To Tie It All Together

I'm not sure why buying something so simple can completely change my mood.  Today, Shaun and I made the trek to Ikea... after shopping, eating some delicious meatballs, and more shopping... I finally convinced Shaun that we need more gender neutral bedding.  I know it seems ridiculous to spend money on new bedding when I am on such a limited income.... but I do have some reasoning behind this purchase.

1. The duvet cover I have is really nice, it's 100% cotton, smooth... and white with flowers. At the time I got it, it wasn't my first choice... it was just the most economical choice that I also liked.  Since Shaun and I now share a home, I started feeling bad that there was so much "girly" stuff around.... so the new cover is much more gender neutral.

2. I've had my other duvet cover since I got the down comforter... 7 years ago.  So I think that should count for something as time to upgrade... right?

3. At Ikea it's still A LOT cheaper than a lot of other places!  A king size cover (which is what I need) is only $40... at someplace like Bed Bath and Beyod... it would be at least $100.  So that at least makes it a deal!

I really shouldn't need reasons to want to treat myself... but I do find it funny how a 207 thread count duvet cover can make me so happy and motivated to change so much all at the same time!!!  I have a vision on how I want to change some things... now I just need to find the rest of the pieces!

More Rejection... and A Little Bit of Positive

So this week has been very interesting in the job search.  First the negative... I got 3 rejection letters today.  I still feel that while it's nice to know that a job I applied to several months ago is now filled... it doesn't help.  Plus, all of the letters said there were more than 200 applicants.  So it's hard to not get down on yourself when I'm here in Ohio and there are 199+ applicants applying for the same job that are NOT in Ohio. 

On the other side... I applied to a job at a museum about... 3 months ago.  I heard back and they filled the position.  Then on Thursday I was doing my normal round of searches when I saw the job... was open again!  So I reapplied.  Not sure if I stand a chance, after all it's not like I had an interview.  But I'm trying to stay positive.  See my last job at the TV station... well I applied in June... never heard back until I got a call in October.  They filled the position and then the person didn't work out so they called me!  So ya never know.

It is hard not getting discouraged... ok who am I kidding... I'm discouraged.   I guess what's hard is to not let it stop you... I keep trying to tell myself that at some point it will work out... and at this point in my life it's still working.

Can Applications Come with IQ Tests?

I am not going to boast that I am a genius, because I know I'm not.  I am confident in saying that I am smarter than the average person... at least I think so (as do standardized tests).... my problem is... I question if my resume lets people know that.

I do not want to speak bad of people who work in television, because I sat next to some individuals that were incredibly smart, much smarter than myself.  But I also sat next to some people I questioned how they even got into college let alone graduated.  A former co-worker (who was also a student at the time) once questioned why "Deep Throat" was a topic in an ethics conference for journalists.  See she confused the informant who broke the Watergate Scandal for a sex act.  Yeah... these are the people who then become the reporters that are the butt of jokes.

Even in college, once I changed majors I really started to notice just how little people needed to know.  For example: When I was a Biology major I had to take some pretty difficult Chemistry classes that required quite a bit of math.... making something like standard deviation... easy.  I changed majors and then... I'm sitting in a Statistics class and the professor tells us that "you don't need to know standard deviation because it's too hard"  REALLY!?!?! 

So here I am... boasting a degree that a talking monkey could get... and a job that isn't much better.  I'm applying for jobs that require a person to be organized and intelligent.  Jobs I know that I can do, jobs I know I'm more than qualified for intellectually... but is that really coming across on a job application?  I know once I talk to someone or get an interview I will blow them away... that is if my resume doesn't get blown off.  So here's hoping!

Another Positive Reaction

I thought I would share a positive event that has happened with me and my search for a job.... don't get your hopes up... there still is no job happening.... but it's a step.

I told you a while back I sent several cold call letters and resumes to several associations.  Well one of them was just a small organization (though you couldn't tell from their site) and they actually called me!  They wanted to tell me that while they are small and don't have any openings they thought I should apply for another one with an organization they work with... so I did.  I know it's not much... but it's just nice to know that you're putting your resume out there in hopes they don't just throw it away and instead you actually get a tip.  I don't know if I'll get the job... but still... a tip is a tip.  And the more jobs I apply to the closer I get to actually getting a job!  So... maybe it's time to send out even more resumes!

Additional Family

I was cleaning up this and found my pile of birthday cards (just a few weeks old).  Before I put them away I always read them one more time.  What I noticed this year was the change in family.  My sister, divorced a year, has a new boyfriend who signed the card... but the one that really got me was Shaun's family.  This year they signed it "love you".  I know it may sound weird... after all it's not like she signed it "mom."... but it meant a lot to me realizing that I have a growing family.

It is weird how easy it comes.. I was raised with my family, and as the youngest I am the last to experience that "in-law" part of a relationship.  I have always wondered how easy or hard it would be to love an entire extended family like they are my own.  And I'm learning... not as hard as one would think.  It started with a just some hugs and Christmas gifts... but now I have a whole new list of people I can call family.

Maybe it's just special to me... see my dad's family was absent most of my life... a long and detailed family story that can just stay with our family... I got used to just having one family, used to having on grandma, 5 aunts, and my cousins.  But now, I have another grandma, mom (don't worry mommy she's NEVER going to replace you!), and brother.... and I have to say... it's great.

Also recently we have reconnected with my dad's family... and while there are still some sore subjects, it is nice to get to know some aunts, uncles, and cousins who I only really knew from old pictures and class assignments of family trees.  It's a bit overwhelming sometimes to think that someone can love you... no matter what... because you are family.... and that's something to keep close to my heart.