The "What If's"

I like to think of myself as someone who can go with the flow, someone who doesn't let the little things bother her... and I think I'm pretty good at appearing that way... but the truth... yeah the truth is the complete opposite.  See, I am a "what if" person... I like to have a strategy for every possible scenario.  This way, when something happens I already know my plan... and therefore, seem calm.  I plan everything, from what if I get a job in Seattle, but haven't sold my house... what if I sell the house and it takes a while to find a job... what if I get a job here in Columbus, like it, but then sell the house... you can see how this can become overwhelming.  I even do the "what if" to smaller things, example: what if we go to the outdoor concert and it rains... what if we buy tickets to something and then can't go... etc. 

Usually I can keep the outward feelings at bay... I can keep from having panic attacks and keep from having sleepless nights and heartburn.  But then something, a trigger that makes the "what if's" take over.  This morning my dryer died... in the past it was a belt that slipped, something easy that with a sweet and genuine "please and thank you" my dad would fix for less than $20.  But not this time... and this was not something I had planned for... not something that had even factored into my mind as something that could happen.  And now it's just all crazy in my head.  Should I fix it?  Can I afford to fix it?  Should I just get rid of it and turn the utility room into a bedroom?  Would that make it sell faster?  Would that make it more desirable?  I don't know.  The problem is, most of these questions don't have an answer... which makes it even worse for me.  I need to just make a decision... something that doesn't come easy to me.... and hope that it all works out.  So wish me luck... as I try to find a way to make all the "what if's" in my head happy.

New Venture

I haven't written for a while because I've been busy learning to become a salesperson.  That's right... you are looking at the newest Avon representative.  To some selling Avon might be a "old lady job" but I disagree... I am hoping it's the next step in me finding a full time job. 

I chose Avon because... well I could use the cash... but also because many of the jobs I'm applying for are entitled "Marketing & Communications Manager"... I have the communications part down, but I didn't go to school for marketing, in fact I ran from it like the plague!  But with Avon... if you don't market yourself, you don't make any money.... end of story.

When I was younger the last thing I ever wanted to be was a salesperson of any sort... partly because I refused to be like my dad (I was rebellious)... but also because I didn't want to be the person who had to wear the suit everyday and... it's just not me, I'm not a "stiff" person.  The problem is... those who make money... wear suits.  So I'll get a little more used to the idea, but until then I also have to work on my skills.

See, I don't like just going up to people, trying to convince them to use moisturizer or change lipstick... so I guess we will see just how successful I can be!  But I can be honest with people, telling them I am selling... hope that sweet and innocent can also sell.  The thing is I know I need to be more aggressive, more confident in myself... and I'm hoping this new endeavor will do just that!